It's ADHD Awareness Month. As Katherine Mortimer - a PhD student with ADHD - says, ADHD can be both a challenge and a superpower but the important thing is identifying these and working with them. She shares her experience and advice with us here.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), as made clear by the name, is a neurodevelopmental disorder defined by inattentive and hyperactive personality traits. But it is often more complex than that for individuals with ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19, in the second year of my undergraduate degree. In school I was often labelled a daydreamer - my overactive imagination was blamed for this - but for as long as I can remember I have struggled to stay focused and to escape the chaotic world inside my head.
When starting my PhD, I didn’t fully anticipate how my ADHD and a PhD lifestyle might clash. PhDs rely on self-motivation, attention to detail and can be emotionally challenging. I noticed that I was struggling to stay on task, keep on top of my work, pay attention in meetings, and ultimately it became difficult to deal with the emotional lows that can coincide with the PhD experience. But now going into my second year, I have uncovered ways to harmonise my ADHD with my PhD. I have learnt useful techniques that I will carry through for the next couple years of my PhD and most likely for the rest of my life.
Emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity
As a neuroscientist, I have found comfort in trying to understand the neurological underpinnings of my ADHD, but it also makes my behaviour feel far out of my control. Some symptoms of ADHD, such as impulsiveness and the inability to focus and feel motivated, have been attributed to functional deficits in areas of the brain which are heavily populated by dopaminergic neurons. Low dopamine activity may also explain the more emotional symptoms of ADHD, such as rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) and emotional dysregulation, where the highs are very high, and the lows are very low.
This field is full of rejections. There are the obvious ones...but there are a lot of less overt moments, too
Unfortunately for those who experience RSD and are pursuing a PhD (or any route in academia), this field is full of rejections. There are the obvious ones, like when journals reject your paper or when you attempt an experiment for the 50th time only for it to not work (again). No one likes being rejected, but for individuals with RSD it can be harrowing, causing a complete decline in mood which may be viewed as ‘irrational’ by others. There are a lot of less overt moments, too, though, that can be deeply affective but subtle, and interactions with your supervisor can play a major role in perceived rejection. Maybe a meeting with them didn’t go as well as planned, or they shot down an idea you had for your project. Supervisors are your main point of call; they are vital to the success of your PhD and they are completely unique to the PhD experience. What other job has a mentor or boss that gives you so much 1-to-1 attention? Because of this, perceived rejection can be found in even the smallest interactions with them. One technique I try to apply to limit RSD in this context is to not put too much pressure on these interactions. A weekly meeting is not the be all and end all, and will not alter your supervisor's opinion of you if you feel you’ve come up short on successful results or meaningful outcomes. In general terms, there will be bad lab days, but there will also be good lab days and the more you accept this part of the journey, the more likely you are to learn from your rejections and turn them into growth.
Executive dysfunction and attention span
Let’s talk about executive dysfunction. Right off the bat, it sounds like a bunch of cognitive jargon, but executive function comes down to seemingly very basic parts of our working lives such as completing a task from beginning to end, remembering to go to meetings, or completing tasks with a deadline. Executive dysfunction is struggling with all of the above. It is largely attributed to the inattentive side of ADHD and it makes perfect sense if you view it in terms of attention. If you do not pay attention to something, it is harder to commit it to memory. Struggling with executive dysfunction can often fuel rejection sensitivity and lead to feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment. For example, when your supervisor asks you if you made any progress on the part of your project, they advised you to try but you have no recollection of this.
Working from home days are so important for my mental wellbeing and allow me to work more efficiently in the lab on the days I am in
A potentially obvious way to deal with this is to write things down! And I don’t mean leaving yourself cryptic messages on random notepads and having to ask yourself “What does 'just eyeballs’ mean??’ (this is a real message I left myself amid a bunch of doodles). Writing up meeting notes immediately after they have occurred is a good way to combat this, but also make notes during the meeting. Leave comments in full sentences on half-written areas of your thesis to remind yourself of your thought process at the time, or even use your lab book to write full-on diary entries retelling your day in the lab if that helps.
Burnout and feeling overwhelmed can worsen executive dysfunction and are all too common among PhD students. Please remember that it is completely reasonable to take breaks. Use your lunch breaks to detach yourself from what you’re doing, catch up with lab mates and destress. Having a work from home day each week is also a great way to get yourself out of the lab and limit your burnout. Save some reading or data analysis for this time! I’ve found this to be so important for my mental wellbeing and it allows me to work more efficiently in the lab on the days I am in.
My ADHD is not just a hindrance, it is also all the parts of myself that make me perfectly suited for a PhD
Superpower
When I spoke to my mum (who also has ADHD) about writing this article, she noted how negative I was being, describing ADHD as a huge obstacle to me obtaining my PhD. However, she reminded me that my ADHD is not just a hindrance, it is also all the parts of myself that make me perfectly suited for a PhD. It’s the persistent intellectual curiosity, the need to always understand why, chronic problem-solving, ability to hyperfocus, and the creativity and resourcefulness that allows me to think outside the box and explore a huge range of research related to my project. We are often taught to view our neurodivergence as a superpower, and to this I say, why not? If a part of our ADHD makes us enthralled by a particular area of research and constantly seeking answers to a research question, then surely we are the ideal PhD candidates.
This article was written by Katherine Mortimer and edited by Ailie McWhinnie. Interested in writing for WiNUK yourself? Contact us through the blog page and the editors will be in touch!
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